Divorced and dating when to introduce to the kids
In sum, the key to successful parenting post-divorce is helping your kids heal from your breakup and introducing them to a new love too soon might complicate, delay, or damage this process.
You can simply tell your kids that you’re going out with a new friend and that’s enough information.
It may take them time to accept a new person in their life.
For example, Caroline, a 36-year-old teacher, described her new partner Kevin as thoughtful, affectionate, and a great match for her.
She didn’t understand why Baylie didn’t share her enthusiasm for Kevin because he was so perfect for their family.
As Caroline spoke, disappointment was apparent in her voice: “Kevin’s just so ideal for our family and I can really be myself with him. I figured that Baylie would like him because he’s a lot of fun and I was blindsided when she started complaining about him.” During our second session, I asked Caroline if she had thought through any disadvantages of introducing her daughter Baylie to Kevin so soon.
On the other hand, adolescents may appear more accepting of your new partner than younger children, but they may still perceive that person as a threat to your relationship.
It’s crucial that you assure your kids that your partner will not replace their other parent or change your relationship with them.
She paused and said “not really” and so I asked her to write down a list of pros and cons for her homework assignment.
When Caroline arrived for her next session, she reported that she was having second thoughts about whether she had rushed into including Kevin in so many activities with Baylie, and she realized that Baylie was seeing him as a rival for her attention.
Rather than planning a long visit, it’s best to have a brief, casual meeting with few expectations.
Another important consideration when introducing your kids to a new love interest is their age.
Truth be told, younger children (under age 10) may feel confused, angry, or sad because they tend to be possessive of their parents.